Who doesn’t want to feel good?
The truth is most of us tend to lean toward things that bring us good sensations. In contrast we tend to shy away from those things that make us feel bad. In men’s group tonight we discussed our patterns of pursuing things we like when it is ultimately not good for us and avoiding things we don’t like even when it is something good for us. We discussed how our patterns in this area look strikingly like those of our fathers. Our parents indeed play a significant role in shaping our ability to say no to immediate gratification and yes to delayed gratification. Our addictions and character flaws are a testimony to our inability to say no to behaviors that are self-destructive. At its core addiction is an issue of self-control – not disciplined enough to say no or yes when it comes to what we really want or don’t want.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel good. As long as we are not hurting anybody else or ourselves. Dopamine is a wonderful hormone God designed to keep us motivated. It is very important for us to faithfully do things that make us feel good and avoid those things that make us feel bad. But in all of our pursuit of happiness we must be careful to not hurt anybody or ourselves.
How easy is it for you to say no to yourself? How easy is it for others to say no to you? What role if any do you see that your parents or caregivers made in your ability to control yourself today? What do you do that feels good enough to avoid doing the things that feel good but are not good for you? What strategies are you implementing to overcome your temptations? Remember what you share may help somebody else.
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